Its been a rough couple of weeks. J came and spent the weekend for her birthday and we had some family time with Andrew. The following weekend was my birthday. I’ve been seeing this guy (Wolf) but the last couple of weeks hes been really pissing me off. I was already on edge with him because he is super clingy. Like couldn’t go without me texting him for a couple of hours without him thinking I was mad at him for something. During J’s birthday weekend we had some friends come over and hang out to celebrate. He got super drunk and was being a royal ass.
I confronted him about it later in the week and let him know that it was bullshit. He apologized. And then he proceeded to crash my birthday party and get super drunk AGAIN. He spent the whole night being mopey and pissy. We ended up ditching him and another guy that my friend Lyn has been seeing who also invited himself and they broke up like a month ago. Between the two of them everyone was pissed off. I don’t do relationships well so I don’t take getting into one lightly. This guy I was seeing definitely didn’t make boyfriend status. Once we left the bar my birthday was great. We went up to the mountains and had a bonfire.
I crashed at my friends house with some company… The next morning Lyn and my would be suitors friend Ty came and woke my company and I up to go to breakfast. Then I went to pick up my kiddo and came home. I was taking to Ty later to make sure Wolf got somewhere safe the night before. To my absolute embarrassment Wolf had also stayed at my friends house the night before… And I wasn’t exactly quiet if you know what I mean..
The last couple of days were just crazy at work. Today Andrew got into some trouble at school. Nothing serious for once. But I had him take a timeout in the form of wall sits. He didn’t like that. He decided that it was then ok for him to start hitting the wall and slamming the door while screaming bloody murder. Safe to say he got a spanking and is grounded until Friday.
I went into his room to talk to him a little later after calling J and filling her in on what was going on. We sat and talked and I asked him why he has been acting up so much lately. And then the kid broke my heart.. He wanted to know where his dad was and why he wasn’t around. I remember being his age and wondering where my mom was.. J and I talked earlier about his dad because I guess he recently contacted her and we were discussing how to go about it. Do we let him see his dad? Or do we keep him away to avoid the pain that was suffered the last time he ad shown up and disappeared? After talking with Andrew I texted her and said lets let him see his dad. The way we see it is he will learn as he gets older and we would rather just be there for him through it rather than hate us for keeping them apart. The fact that today was the day that the kid broke down hit a soft spot with me.
Today after work I checked the mail. I had a package delivered. It was a birthday present from my biological mother. The first one I have received from her since I was 7 years old. I haven’t spoken to my egg doner in around a year and a half. I just don’t want to. I have a mom and it isn’t her. She did to me the same thing that Andrews dad is doing. I don’t want him growing up feeling like he isn’t good enough.. That his brothers and sisters are more important to his dad than he is.. Growing up feeling like that is awful… I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, most of all my own child…
This is the end of my rant for the night. I need to go to sleep. Its truck day tomorrow. More about my sad childhood another time because tomorrow its truck day. Yay.
Being a Mom is HARD 