Nope. Not at all. Not one single second.

Would I re-live an age or year of my life? I’ve been asked this question a lot over the years. I’ve been asked if I would change anything. Anything at all.

I’ve had a the “what if” thoughts. What If I had moved away after high school like I had originally planned? What if I hadn’t talked to that girl everyone thought was weird in 8th grade art class? What if I had lived with my biological mom instead of my parents growing up? What if my dad hadn’t gotten clean when I was 7? What if I never moved to where I live now?

My life could have been very different if even ONE of these things had happened differently.

I lived with my biological mother for about 6 months when I was 6 until I finished the 1st grade. I wanted to move home with my dad, so I did. A Few months later my dad moved closer to our family and got sober. I followed after staying with my grandparents for a few months.

When I was 8 my dad met my mom. This is the woman who would raise me and help shape the woman that I am today. Even after my parents split up I lived with her off and on until I graduated high school.

When I was in the 8th grade I took an art class in school. That is where I met Steve (my now ex), as well as the weird girl would come to be the biological mother of my son after 5 years of us being two peas in a pod. Never one without the other. Glued to the hip with the same name.

When I was 17 and starting my senior year, that weird girl got pregnant. She kept the baby and we knew the father would not be around. The two of us against the world and now we were going to be parents.

When I was 17 I had plans to move back east after I graduated. Once my best friend got pregnant and was going to be alone, those plans changed. I got a job and started saving money. My son to be was born 2 weeks before I turned 18 and just over a month before I graduated high school.

It may have taken until he was 9 years old to make it legal but the moment I would re-live over and over again is the moment he was put into my arms at 17 years old. My whole purpose in life changed that day. He turns 12 this year and while he may be the biggest pain in my ass. I wouldn’t give him up for the world.

If even ONE of those things in my life hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have the life I do now. Despite all the bullshit, I have what I would consider to be a great life. I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

Daily writing prompt

Is there an age or year of your life you would re-live?

View all responses

Have you ever broken a bone?

I have broken 6 bones in my life. 3 toes, my tailbone, my knuckle, and my skull.

I cracked my skull when I was about 4 years old. I still remember it like it was yesterday. We were AVid hocky fans in our house. My dad and I were in my grandmas TV room watching a match. I was sitting in one of those kid size plastic 4 legged chairs in front of the fireplace. I couldn’t tell you which team scored but almost 25 years after my grandmother sold the house I can still tell you what that fireplace looked like.

The fireplace was raised about a foot and a half off the ground on top of a brick ledge that was about 2 feet deep from the wall all the way across. The lower half of the wall was completely brick. Grandma had the mantel lined with the stereotypical 90’s posed family photos, along with a few embarrassing photos of myself.

I couldn’t tell you what team it was but someone scored. And then everything happened so quickly. I got excited and was rocking back and forth in my crappy little chair and jumping up and down like every 4 year old has been told not to from the moment they sit in one for the first time. The next thing I knew the legs bent and I went down. My head hit the brick ledge.

The funny part is that I don’t remember it hurting. I remember my dad scooping me up. I remember my grandparents running into the room. I remember my dad holding a washcloth to the back of my head while we sat on the couch. I remember that the fire was still on. I remember grandma looking at the back of my head. I remember that I never saw that chair again.

My dad told me that they never took me to the hospital. He stitched the back of my head up himself right there on the couch in my grandmas basement. As a parent nowadays, I don’t know how I would handle that situation. However, I would defiantly NOT attempt to stitch my own kids head up. I think the only reason that I don’t find it strange is because my grandmother didn’t object. If you knew her, you’d understand why that’s oddly comforting.

That is one of my earliest memories. I haven’t thought about it in awhile. I wonder if that has anything to do with my irrational fear of falling from even small heights… Probably.

Daily writing prompt

Have you ever broken a bone?

View all responses

How do you balance work and home life?

To be perfectly honest, finding the balance was hard. I spent a lot of years with more work than home.

At the time I wrote the schedules but I had required hours and shift due to my position. I worked 6 days a week. 4 10 hour shifts and 2 5s. My 5s were during the week when I had my son so I could be home a couple days with him after school and 2 of my 10s were on the weekends when he was with his other mom. The downside was that even when I wasn’t AT WORK I was still getting phone calls/texts from my employees and bosses every half hour or so until late into the night. Even when I wasn’t working, I was working.

One day I decided it was time for me to step back. My higher ups had gotten mad at me for not answering my phone one day due to being at a family reunion about 30 minutes away with family who had flown thousands of miles to see everyone. My father was one of those people. After that I decided I was done.

I ended up transferring back to the location in my hometown as the Assistant Manager. 40 hours. 2 opening shifts. 2 closing shifts. And a GM who had absolutely no idea how to do her job. So while I once again was physically at the restaurant less, I was still on the phone and answering texts almost all day on my days off.

About 6 months passed and I was informed that my GM was quitting and the higher ups asked me to take back over. No change to my schedule, they would take the after hours calls. At this point I had gone from having 1 child to 3. I did not want it. However, they were in a jam with nobody to do the job. I agreed to give them a 90 day test run. I wasn’t going to screw myself by not having anyone to do the things that needed to be done in order to make my job easier. At least this way I got the pay increase.

2 1/2 months later not much had changed. It was smack in the middle of covid and with all the new policies I was losing employees and still getting call after call, text after text.

One day I was sitting down with my family to watch a movie before the kids went to bed and my phone went off. My oldest asked me “Mom is that work calling again?”. Even years later I can hear him say it clear as day. That was the moment I decided I was done.

I had a standing job offer to bartend at a local place so I went to talk to the manager after work the next day. He asked me when I could start and I told him I would like to give my current boss a notice that my availability would be changing. I told my current boss that I would stay on a couple days a week until they could find someone to take over. I worked on the days they needed the food order placed, and would do the weekly inventory. This way I also got to keep my benefits.

6 months went by and I was finally training a new GM to takeover so I started looking for other jobs that would let me work during the day and not on weekends. While I enjoyed my bartending gig, I was tired of drunk assholes. I wanted out of the service industry all together. I finally got an interview with a local media company.

Almost 4 years later I am perfectly happy at a job that understands the value of family. If my kid is sick, no problem. Need to go to an appointment? See you when you get back. You want to go see your kid get an award at school? Congrats tell them we said good job! My boss is a bad ass momma too and I don’t know how she does it.

I realize not everyone is as lucky as I am and its not always possible but, the right job, and I mean THE RIGHT JOB, won’t make you set your family aside. They’ll give you the flexibly to do both and encourage you to put your family first. Wait for THAT job.

Daily writing prompt

How do you balance work and home life?

View all responses