Would I re-live an age or year of my life? I’ve been asked this question a lot over the years. I’ve been asked if I would change anything. Anything at all.
I’ve had a the “what if” thoughts. What If I had moved away after high school like I had originally planned? What if I hadn’t talked to that girl everyone thought was weird in 8th grade art class? What if I had lived with my biological mom instead of my parents growing up? What if my dad hadn’t gotten clean when I was 7? What if I never moved to where I live now?
My life could have been very different if even ONE of these things had happened differently.
I lived with my biological mother for about 6 months when I was 6 until I finished the 1st grade. I wanted to move home with my dad, so I did. A Few months later my dad moved closer to our family and got sober. I followed after staying with my grandparents for a few months.
When I was 8 my dad met my mom. This is the woman who would raise me and help shape the woman that I am today. Even after my parents split up I lived with her off and on until I graduated high school.
When I was in the 8th grade I took an art class in school. That is where I met Steve (my now ex), as well as the weird girl would come to be the biological mother of my son after 5 years of us being two peas in a pod. Never one without the other. Glued to the hip with the same name.
When I was 17 and starting my senior year, that weird girl got pregnant. She kept the baby and we knew the father would not be around. The two of us against the world and now we were going to be parents.
When I was 17 I had plans to move back east after I graduated. Once my best friend got pregnant and was going to be alone, those plans changed. I got a job and started saving money. My son to be was born 2 weeks before I turned 18 and just over a month before I graduated high school.
It may have taken until he was 9 years old to make it legal but the moment I would re-live over and over again is the moment he was put into my arms at 17 years old. My whole purpose in life changed that day. He turns 12 this year and while he may be the biggest pain in my ass. I wouldn’t give him up for the world.
If even ONE of those things in my life hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have the life I do now. Despite all the bullshit, I have what I would consider to be a great life. I wouldn’t give it up for anything.
Being a Mom is HARD 