So tonight is the first night in my house without my kids here. I’m honestly struggling.
I haven’t been without my kids in years. Their dad took them to spend the night in a hotel. I feel awful because I know he just wants to be away from me and they still don’t know whats going on. He just decided tonight that thats what he wanted to do.
He stayed out with my daughter after he picked her up from her visitation with her mom until waaayyy past her bedtime last night. Normally I wouldn’t care but it was a school night and he didn’t tell me he was keeping her out that late. Then today he comes home after work and B and I I were home because he was having some side effects from being off his meds. He said he was taking a shower and then going to pick A up. He got back and then informed me they were leaving. Didn’t ask or anything. Just said that was what he was doing.
I get it. I do. but he could have at least talked to me you know? They have school and therapy tomorrow. He said he would take them to therapy so I hope he does.
I feel like he is reverting to treat me like his ex wife who did absolutely nothing for these kids and made them care for themselves…. I know he would never take them from me and he would never leave B but the thought is still there you know?
Hes been out most nights since we split. Turns out hes been at the bar. I learned this because I finally got a chance to get out with Cyn and Tash on Saturday night and my buddy that works at the bar made a comment about it. I worry about him. Alcohol makes him angry. I don’t like when he drinks and I really hope that he finds a different way to cope…
I guess I’m just afraid. I know everything will be fine. I just don’t know what path this situation is going to take.
Being a Mom is HARD 