So the title of my blog is “My Life as a Single, Working Mom”. Well we’ve covered some mom stuff, now lets talk some work stuff. Tonight I dropped my son off with his grandparents for his 3 day weekend from school. As I am on my way home I get a call from my assistant manager. One of my employees is sending suicidal goodbye texts to the manager on duty. I tell them to call the cops and get them involved sooner rather than later (turned out to be a good thing they did). Meanwhile I call MY boss because I have no clue what the fuck I’m supposed to do in this situation. As I’m on the phone with my boss I pull up to my store to calm down the employees working. I walked in just like I had walked into my own house as a teenager many times before. I walked in, examined the situation and began the process of calming people down. My manager on duty is a wreck, the cops walk through the door, and my assistant manager is on the phone. I explain the situation to the cops and they went on their way to track down the employee in question. I start calming down my Manager on Duty who is close friends with the employee sending the texts. And then we waited. All I could think about while we waited was me sitting with my mom while the cops did the same thing with my dad. Talk him of the ledge. Tonight brought back a lot of memories that I hope to god my son never has to go through. But tonight has taught me two things: 1) I am grateful for the things I went through in my childhood that made me as strong as I am, because tonight it helped me get others through it too. 2) I am so grateful for the people in my life that care about me and love me just the way I am. Sometimes I get scared that I will end up like my dad. But in all reality to not be like him in that way has been what has kept me going. I will never give in to the darkness that I know is in my head. and my son is the primary reason that I will never let that happen. Yes I know I am strong, but I want him to be strong because it is who he is, not because he has to be. I don’t want him to become strong the way I did. No child should ever have to endure that and I’ll be damned if I put him through that.
I doubt anyone is actually reading this, but if you are, Thanks. Its nice to feel like someone is listening.
Being a Mom is HARD 